hello world!
Stiff neck from headbanging to Serge Tankian yesterday is better today.
I think it is hypocritical how I, on the one hand maintain my innocence but also expect to be rewarded for the âsacrificeâ.
The starker the hypocrisy, the more likely is it to appear âevilâ, but evil is a congruence, true evil is not giving into the double standards that keep the world turning. It seems evil to me to turn my back to the truth, to ignore the reality â in this sense my indifference proves itself to be evil in the eyes of others â but indifference is the only answer to things beyond my control. Stoicism can appear cruel if youâre warm blooded enough I guess.
Religion isnât what you do, it is what happens.
It starts with you wanting to turn your dreams into reality. Thatâs where you screw up, not all dreams are worthy of bringing to fruition. Indeed 99.9% of dreams, visions, and desires are BS. Mostly it is conditioned behaviour and forces of habit. Wisdom, or at least any practical mental model worthy of its name discerns between desires, selecting the rare ones worthy of being married to action.
Similarly, not all criminals are worthy of becoming politicians, some just donât have a grander vision.
Ask yourself, âwhat is the simpler version of ___ ?â to whatever it is you want to apply action to. Eg. Morning Pages => Morning Lines
1 New Habit / year. 2021 = morning lines.
Loneliness is one of the worthy problems to solve for, but only once you have figured out companionship and friendship and what is meant by these words. Sorting people into foes and friends is a problem for competitive minds, solace lies in oneâs own company.
Good morning world.
Having finally decided to remain single for the rest of my life and devote my time to just trying to get these old people out of my head, feel sane.
Iâm going to meditate later today.
Should also go through Lev Goldentouchâs book on creativity and add to notes.
Marriage is out of the question, write that down somewhere. Trial means I immediately retire to a monastery of my choice, write that down also.
I had never seen hanuman with a female consort before. Dadâs good morning image surprised me and seemed totally fake. Curiosity drove me to google and find something similar but there isnât.
Which led me to think about the protestant reformation, and how it may have contributed to our troubles today. I think it politicised religion by democratising it, religion has nothing to do with politics, and indeed, mixing the two is the source of problems.
The idea behind nudge, whether it comes from government or individuals, is that it can never bring revolution, personal or social. You can change your habits, your circumstances, your finances by using it but it wonât, as Woodrow Wilson said, âturn a man into a womanâ and vice versa.
Furthermore, any behaviour change induced by manipulative or upfront ânudgingâ cannot last long. TODO: Are there studies on this?
Not only because things are this public, i must remember my standards and definitions, lest I be swayed towards revolution or populism.
Need to stop consuming scripted content and write instead.
Watch out for settling for a miserly drip of pity and anger when you can actually have their unbridled wrath if you tried.
Had slept without any food.
I donât think I made a fool of anyone here, the perceived threat to the âsystemâ was designed to be benign. I did intend to disrupt, open new avenues for what is possible, and it is heartening to see the impact, no matter the personal cost.
Thank you. I forgive you. Goodbye. Thatâs my mantra for these people, Iâm sure they are all very nice and gentle, and that everyone is just caught in this vortex that nobody wanted to see. But I have found my peace, made my closure, and have arrived at a peace I intend to guard with my life.
A paradox, also known as an antinomy, is a logically self-contradictory statement or a statement that runs contrary to oneâs expectation.
Hereâs what the world wants, someone who understands without being explicitly told. I should know, this was one of my motherâs oft-repeated phrases, âwhat good are you if you have to be told?â, so like, standards and shit.
But hereâs where the world is wrong, for if they actually found someone who understood without being explicitly told, they would then expect that person to do nothing unless explicitly told. Such is the paradoxical nature of the world. We keep inventing new standards even if it means borrowing from history.
Paradoxes happen not because the world wants them, nor because the mind invents them - mind is backward tech compared to reality, and so is often fooled, and so is capable to invent - but paradoxes happen because as opposed to existing in a state of revolution or status quo, the world, as it were, levitates above these.
I donât mean revolution or status quo in a political sense here, it is way more primal than politics.
History is more problematic than the future, because things emerge in this sort of levitating parallax modern human life has come to resemble. In this emergence, anyone can pick a boundary and start defending it, it can be any boundary, especially old ones and ones being proven worthy of being dissolved. One can even make a fight out of creating walls and boundaries where none hitherto existed. Boundaries facilitate disagreement, dissent, and anger and therefore, are excellent political tools. Because one is fairly certain individual understanding cannot permeate many such social boundaries (most people fail/refuse to understand all sides to a story), they become breeding ground for debate and the creation of social âparadoxesâ, moral dilemmas, existential crises etc.
You canât do this with the future in mind, with the future, you may only imagine the worst.
Iâm talking not just of scientific but even âsocialâ and moral paradoxes, as ridiculous as it may sound. Social paradoxes arenât real, but are made real for political reasons.
I believed that Non-duality is essentially the paradox-cutter we should have employed, and I told them as much, but nobody was interested in listening to a stalking horse.
I figure I could write a short manual on how to be a stalking horse, so I did. This isnât that book.
And yet, there will be people who will say i didnât have the balls. My balls are for those who can earn them.
After a few years of torture, this is my finding, the jew is fine, the black man is fine, the problematic core of America is the WASPY middle class - and the economic disparities therein.
I mean I call my parents heathens but some so called born christians are so much worse. Thereâs no defending christianity without supporting the jew. I didnât know how anti-semetic America actually was, itâs a real problem. I wish I could say that in the grand-er scheme of things the jew is irrelevant, but that is not the case. However, we should aim for irrelevance. I woudnât be writing this if it wereânt for a jew and you wouldnât be reading this, think we can all agree on that.
I was born a hindu, which is the most irrelevant thing about all this i believe.
what I want to do is, in secret, in obscurity, in poverty, rewire everyone for the future. I dont care who wins and what they win, my missions is cut out.
Too much snow make dumb, thats why we have seasons.
This is what happens when a wholly apolitical class tries their hand at politics.
Inferior, populist, insecure âleadersâ emerge, marking the decline of this civilisation.
An Insecure moneyed class is fuelling their rise. This is what hurts the most, this is what compels me to do shit. This isnât individualism gone wrong, this is the onset of communism. Or at least feels like it.
Not that I give two flying fucks about anyone and their mother here, but I feel a deep sense of gratitude for times and experiences that were afforded to me by virtue of my participation in cough, exported American culture and identification with its values so I feel the need to pen down these thoughts.
SO what the fuck just happened here? My POV is as follows and trust me, Iâm not trying to convince anyone of anything here, just recording this for posterity.
As I see it, two patriotic, unconventional, politically incorrect guys, lets call them Rosencratz and Gildernstern - showed up on the scene and the world lost itâs ball-sack.
In randomness, people forget to ask basic questions, so let us do that for them - Why these two? Of all the people who could have discovered an obvious truth about the human condition, why did it have to be these two? The âaccidentâ that brought them together, the innovation and savage buffoonery that followed, the heartbreak, anger and frustrations that were let out - all of it wasnât without reason.
Let us first analyze the context in which they appeared:
A world upended? No, see these two believed the world had been upended long back, and maybe in their heart of hearts had the audacity to set it straight again. Oh but they did not fare well, in fact, it was a tragedy of gargantuan proportions.
Let us now analyze what happened after they showed up:
Chaos. Pandemonium. Absolute insanity and not the kind you would want to take lightly. For this chaos led to war. An easily avoidable and highly unnecessary war.
You see, I donât have to name names I donât have to shame people and I donât have to blackmail, extort, manipulate, confuse or cajole anyone into doing anything in order to do what I do. Iâm totally transparent. But these two guys, man, were they ever mistreated!
Now of course, my sense of injustice isnât all thatâs at stake here, and I mean, can I even call it injustice? Iâm in Manali, itâs a winter wonderland outside, and Iâm cozy in my wooden cottage, typing this on a macbook I still owe money for. Besides, Iâm lazy AF, so I donât really have to type all of this out. But I think of you, dear reader, and wonder what it would mean to you to hold this confession of mine in your hands and be able to say that you were there too, when all of this was happening.
But it helps, it is therapeutic, because, yes, as you may have guessed by now, I am one of the two names mentioned above, although I wonât yet say which.
Paradoxical, isnât it? How can we fuel communism by protecting our privacy and data? How all this works is soon there will be more data than capitalism will know what to do with (isnât that already the case?) â when this touches a certain threshold, a virtual glut of data will disincentivise the use of technology and on and on it is a dystopian vision like no other. A return of steampunk? But I am getting way way ahead of myself, so let us come back to twenty years prior to the event now known only as âSâ, short for âSingularityâ.
So what do you think would actually happen if an event symbolic of technological singularity occurred?
Nobody thinks about such stuff. But even if you were to imagine. Do you think there would a news article, a blog post, a fucking tweet? You would be right it was a tweet.
But it wasnât about singularity, nowhere close. No it doesnât matter. Lets forget all this ever happened and move on? Shall we?
It is a forgone conclusion, we can never have a technological singularity because people who upload their consciousness on the cloud seem to make other people jealous, people who arenât ready for uploading their consciousness to the cloud. It doesnât need to get more complicated than this, does it?
And what about me? What am I trying to to do telling this story nobody wants told? I am simply arranging for my own assassination perhaps. Something worth doing I guess.
But hold on, you will tell me, you will mention some internet conspiracy theory or the other about how there is a âcaseâ in the works - against both these guys - or that Gildernstern is going to jail or to the United Nations, the other jail.
But I think he will do no such thing, but even if he did, who cares right? As far as I know, Gildernstern isnât interested at all in going to the United Nations, so he will try everything he can to reach jail - but then, as I said in the beginning, the protagonists of our story are also big time losers, so it would be no wonder nor would it need a twist of fate to ensure he gets manipulated into joining the UN. If I know Gildernstern at all, and I do know them both to some degree, I think heâd shoot himself in the temple before he joins the UN, but then, time has a way with the will of most humans.
Suicide, another theme we will be dealing with a lot in the coming pages. At least one of our protagonists is suicidal, and Iâm not saying who, but it would be a major non-sequitur of an ending if it were to end in suicide.
But let us roll the boat back a bit, how did it all start? Ah yes, the tweet.
There was a tweet, directed at Mumbai Police, sent one diwali night that got this ball rolling. Honestly, for someone on Modafinil, didnât seem that ominous. Just a good comeback to put an end to an online spat. Who knew a tweet could split the universe into two?
The contents of the tweet are immaterial, nor do we care about who sent it, all we care about is that it someoneâs imagination aflame. Someone on the other side of the world.
Village scenes, I like to call the charade and circus that ensued. But everyone on the planet knows that the circuses that go on here arenât innocent or without violence at all.
Criminals! I hear them shout, and in so far as this book is the confession, sure, you can call them Criminals. But Whoâs confession is it? Which brings us to the entity known only as âWHOâ, and believe me, WHO never confesses to shit.
But all that comes later. This, I think, is a common confession of both, reveled to a medium who then made me transcribe it.