While in my political infancy and mendicancy, I meditated upon these things:
Repetition and Difference The transient nature of all things, including the illusion of “human nature” Boundaries and Borders
individual sovereignty, self respect and ego state secrets and what it takes to digest them My mother’s soul My casual attitude Sin - nature, definition, which ones to commit Death - of others and my own Politics as spiritual war and performance art The idea of service and being servile, taking responsibility w/o auth etc, personal heroism personality cults, secret societies
am i at the center of any? Games
of strategy open/closed of deception of meaning Edges of Spirituality The mindset of a soldier The mindset of an immigrant The mindset of a mumbaikar Religion and detachment Human rights and their evolution over time Homosexuality and celibacy
fetishes and proclivities Luck as a concept loops, recursion, and patterns Narcissism (of small differences, of images) Racism Feminism and toxic feminism Money and crypto Jealousy (miserable like us) Hierarchies natural and man-made Adolescence and nostalgia what others may be thinking of me miracles i witness my mental health my foul mouth and the satisfaction of cursing my discipleship, however lukewarm, which sustained somehow despite the bs my opinions my ideas of innovation and jugaad my strange lack of discontent, given my situation as a political pow, pawn, and stalking horse late capitalism and advertisements cowardice / nothing art society and its norms paul the octopus this accumulating narrative and experiment my desperation for formal sannyas, something already accomplished the consequences of creating bci software i am jack’s absolute lack of skills my decisiveness existentialism and what i found there, paradoxically esse est precipi what the script demands negative visualisation its not what you role you are assigned, its how you play it no fucks were given